Thursday, October 2, 2014

Does sexy have an expiry date?

Due to a technical glitch I lost the first post of this so here we go again with take two:

This morning I started my day by watching this video from a project called What's underneath.

In it Jackie O' Shaugnessy a 62 year old actor and model talks about how she has never felt enough; thin enough, smooth enough or just enough at all. She had always felt that she needed to modify her looks in order to be acceptable.

The same can be said for just about every woman on the planet which is why we have a multi billion dollar industry for weight loss, cosmetic surgery and not to mention hair dyes and make up. Women being dissatisfied with their bodies is a lucrative business.

And then I read this article from Carol Sarler and here's the headline:

Don't believe the ads. I'm afraid sexy does have a sell-by date and it's way before 60

Venus of Willendorf - Fertility Goddess




She had also seen Jacky in some advertisements for underwear but instead of seeing this as an empowering beautiful  acceptance of bodies of all ages and sizes she chose to see it as an excuse to berate older women for showing their bodies. In her mind being sexy is something only young fertile  women should be. I'm not entirely sure what her cut off date is for being sexy but she does go on to mention 
"Sexy is the means by which the female lures her mate.
Sexy is attracting the seed to make your babies"

Um, all I can say is WTF?

If sexy was only about fertility and breeding then I suggest we go back to these fertility symbols as the epitome of "sexy". The truth is what I find sexy and what you find sexy might be poles apart and have very little to do with procreation and more to do with just plain sex.

Let's stop judging and berating women for what they choose to wear, for what size they are and whether or not they fit into your idea of "sexy" or not.


How I look and choose to dress is up to me. Your approval is not needed or required.



 What we should be doing is applauding and celebrating the diversity of images that we are, finally, starting to see in the fashion industry. After all it is what we have been asking for, for years; more ethnic diversity, broader spectrum of ages, different body shapes and sizes. Now they are listening we  ( well a small sector) are saying "Oh no, my eyes are offended"
And let's just talk about sex for a minute ( or maybe longer). Sex doesn't stop just because you are no longer having babies. In fact some of the best sex you will ever have happens after all the kids have left home and you are moving towards menopause. It is something we would all rather not talk about  because the thought of old people having sex is  ewww gross ( not really but in our youth obsessed culture that's more bull shit we are fed)

We have become so youth focused that we are all ( supposedly) trying to cling to the last vestiges of our youth by whatever means possible but let's be realistic for a moment, youth is fleeting. On average we live until our 80's and are only sexually available from our late teens and once we hit our 30's it is (supposedly) all over. that is a very brief window in which we are "allowed" to be sexy.

.        Youth is wasted on the young. Oscar Wilde
Sex gets better as you age. You become more comfortable in your own skin ( hopefully). You are less inhibited and the rush to orgasm is lessened. You are not so driven by lust (and that powerful urge to procreate) and so sex becomes a sensual feast rather than the drive thru take away it was before. Now I am not saying that the sex you have when you are younger isn't great  ( okay I am but that's because I've been young and now I'm old -ish and I know what I'm having now transcends the sex I had when I was younger).

If we truly want to make the world a better place to live in then articles like the one in the Daily Mail do us a huge disservice. We need to celebrate beauty in whatever form it comes in. Instead of dragging people down for how awful they look ( in your eyes) let's celebrate all the differences. Instead of trying to squash everyone into a small box marked beautiful, sexy people let's redefine what that means with much broader strokes.


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