I am a writer.
Most of the time I try to convince myself otherwise.
My writing isn't good enough. I don't have any inspiration. The ideas just aren't flowing. Blah blah., blah.
Today I spent sitting in front of my computer screen trying to come up with an idea for a blog, or even a newsletter or some ideas for new products I'm working on and I came up with precisely nothing.
I took a break. Made myself a cup of tea. Went and hung out with my chooks. Still nothing. I did some housework ( I hate housework so I know it's serious when that becomes an option) Still nothing.
I started cooking and ended up with a lovely meal but still no inspiration.
Finally I took myself off to bed, otherwise known as my happy place, and prepared to drift off to sleep.
BINGO! Now we have ideas flooding in. And this is when the argument with my Muse kicks in "I'll remember this in the morning" ( that never works _ how many great ideas have I lost by declaring this? Countless) "No, I really will remember this" Yeah she's not letting me off that easy. so here I am sitting at my keyboard, eyes stinging and ready for sleep so let's see how this goes.
Grief is a bitch
My mother in law passed away in January. she fell sick in December and within four short weeks she was gone. A week later my brother who had been struggling with cancer went into hospital, two weeks later he passed away too.
January and February have been a constant round of family visits, texts, phone calls, Skype sessions, hospital visits and I can't believe we are in March already.
So what have I learned from all of this? Lots.
(1) Life is short
It doesn't matter if you are 85 or 56 life is over before you know. The trouble is we think we have time. We talk about "getting around"to things. We put off doing what we want to because now is not the right time when in reality right now is all you have. Today.
Because tomorrow is not promised to any of us.
A young friend of mine's husband had a car accident a week or so ago. Their lives will never be the same. Her husband has already undergone numerous surgeries with still more to come. The previous weekend they had posted pictures of them out having fun and now it is hospital updates.
Life is short. Go do all those things that you are waiting to do. Now is the time. NOW!
(2) People are awesome
We can all get a little jaded and think that the world sucks...... and some of the time it does.
But on the whole people are awesome.
You will be amazed at the people who are there for you when the chips are down........ and at the ones that you thought you could count on who disappear into the woodwork.
Focus on the ones who are there for you because they are the ones that really matter.
(3) Grief brings out the worst... and the best in people
It's amazing how it happens. And it always seems to. Weddings and Funerals bring up all the old family shit.
Mainly because it never goes away.
It just lies deep enough beneath the surface that everyone can pretend it has been dealt with. We all want to sweep it under the rug and pretend that we are okay with it all but we aren't and so it rises to the surface when every ones emotions are at the for, either in joy or in pain.
Far better to deal with whatever family shit there is ( and there is always some) before it rears it's ugly head at the wrong time.
Although even this doesn't always work as I know only too well
(4) Sometimes just being there is the most important thing
Sitting holding someone's hand as they are preparing to transition can be the most powerful and transformative thing that you do - for you and for them.
I didn't get to be with my brother due to family issues. I did get to text him... which was nowhere near the same but the best that I could do.
I did get to sit with my mother in law and hold her hand and leaving her was the hardest thing to do... even though she had other family members with her.
Sometimes just being there is all you need to do. You don't need to speak. Your presence is enough.
(5) In the end only love matters
Letting others know that you love them is vital for everyone, regardless of the stage of life that you are at.
It is the one thing that we all need to hear... every day.
It shouldn't be hard to say and we shouldn't wait until the last days of our lives to tell those that we love them how much they mean to us. Sadly, a lot of us still do. Don't be one of them.
(6) Self Care is important
We've been taught that it is selfish. It isn't.
Do whatever it is that you need to do to be the healthiest; in mind, body and spirit, that you can be. It is your life that you are living and you get to decide what it is that you need and what is important to you. Nobody can take that away from you so don't surrender your needs for the sake of pleasing someone else.