Sunday, May 24, 2015

Feeling Fabulous in your 50's ( or whenever)


Christiane Northrup is busily telling us that Goddesses never age.

And she's right, we just grow ever more fabulous with each passing year.

I feel sorry for the people that don't get that.

For the ones who think that, once you hit a certain age, you become  "unf**kable" or invisible.




That somehow women become irrelevant.


And so we start dreading certain birthdays... especially if they end in a zero. We dread turning 40 or 50 and cannot imagine ourselves at 60 or older.


We slather on "anti-aging" creams in the hopes that somehow, this will magically turn back time. Or we go for a little botox or something else to just freshen us up a bit.


What we really need to do is embrace who we are now. Embrace all that we have been through to bring us to this point. All those struggles, the highs, the lows that are our life - they mean something and not just to us but to those that shared those times with us.


And those experiences leave lasting reminders.


When I went through my divorce ,while also having a baby and starting a new relatiosnhip, my hair started falling out in clumps and then, one tiny patch of it ,went grey. I was thirty at the time. And it didn't feel like the end of the world. It felt like a badge of honor "Look what I've been through and I'm still standing"


When that patch got bigger and whiter, when my eldest was a teenager, I knew that I was wearing the badge of all mothers that worry and fret over their kids and wonder if the kids will survive the coming years in one piece ( they all did, relatively unscathed)


All those wrinkles around my eyes are from the smiles and the tears of being a Mum. Those stretch marks are where not only my skin had to stretch to birth the new me that was being born - the mother that would do anything for her children.


We need to stop fearing the numbers: the ages, the dress sizes, the pounds or kilos that stare back at us.

Those numbers do not define us.


They measure one small aspect of who we are and that is all.


How to feel fabulous, at any age, is a state of mind. It always comes back to loving ourselves and loving all the varying "you's" you have been . A new "you" emerges over the years. You let go of old ideas of how life "should" be and instead go with what is. You stop focusing on the "shoulds" and do what makes you happy. You realise that all the time you have spent angsting over "what will people think?" was wasted because people aren't thinking about you at all, they are too busy worrying about their own shit.



You have had an amazing life. You have had struggles and triumphs. You have survived your twenties, thirties, forties and are in your fifties and beyond. Not everyone is so lucky. Each day is a blessing and carries within it its own reward. Start looking for them and realise life loves you, start loving it back.




Want more tips for loving your life? Check out my book "The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life"